I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize