I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize