K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
As shirtless as possible
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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