Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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