operation have a gay friend backfired
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize