yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize