im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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