drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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