That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize