someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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