Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize