Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize