Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize