Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
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You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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