summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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