He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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