what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize