i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dicks are not precious.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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