May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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