She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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