meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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