It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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