How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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