I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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