I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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