my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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