Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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