Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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