Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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