I can tuck mytits in my pants
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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