party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my liver is dry heaving
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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