but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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