i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
the raccoons are back...
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