a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize