I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
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I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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