Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize