OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize