It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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