i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize