ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize