So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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