Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize