If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize