It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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