I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize