Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize