you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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