i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize