Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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