He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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